Whattaya call a guy with no...?

Wow, what a week!!! In February, we were freakin' out about not having any work and thought we might have to lay-off the guys in the office. Not something I looked forward to really, as I've been through that more than once. Although, one of the guys is not really the brightest yahoo in the world and it could have been a blessing in the long run to lose some deadwood. But anyway, by the end of March, work had picked up. By mid-April, it was nuts. Now, it's nuttier than squirrel poo. Work is coming from all directions and everyone wants us to be finished last week. I've joked for years that we need to install a drive-thru window. I've taken one day off in the last 3 weeks. Mothers Day. Gads. Gotta make hay while the sun shines, or whatever that saying is. Or is it, gotta make like horse poop and hit the trail? No, I think it's the hay makin' one. Whatevah.

Megan went to Midland again on Wednesday. She'll be there until Sunday.

Debbie is having fits with her new dishwasher. Word of recommendation here: avoid Bosch dishwashers. The one we have doesn't work worth a darn. Other than it is very quiet compared to the old Kenmore, nothing else is as advertised. If the dishes are dirty when you put them in the appliance, they come out dirty sometimes... but with different dirt. If the dishes are not too dirty when you put them in the appliance, they come out looking dirty. Dunno where the stuff comes from, but there is often gritty stuff on the dishes. I think it might be minerals in the water, but not sure. Debbie put some dishes in it the other day, some with spaghetti sauce, and some of the plasticware came out tinted orange. What the...?? Anyway, never had that problem with the Kenmore. The Kenmore was noisy but cleaned really well til the pump went out. Shoulda spent the $250 for a new pump instead of $700 for a Bosch.

Funny post on Tara's blog about animal names. Evie and Maggie renamed their cats Lula and Rovert. LOL. Where do kids come up with names like that? I made a comment on her blog and made me think of some jokes the kids used to get a kick out of... the "whattaya call a guy with no arms and legs...?" If you have more, post them in the comments section.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the beach?
Bernie.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying in a hole in the back yard? Doug.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying in the garden?
Pete Moss

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a woman’s head?
Brett.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a safe?
Will.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the side of a mountain?
Cliff.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no idea. (I have no eye deer).

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
I have still no idea. (I have still no eye deer)

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat?
Skip.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a tree?
Russell.

What do you call a two guys with no arms and no legs hanging on the living room wall?
Curt and Rod.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs stuck in a computer?
Chip.

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Ilene.

What do you call a Chinese woman with one arm and one leg?
Irene.

What do you call a guy with one arm and one leg who has to urinate?
Pierre.

Special Olympics are in Stillwater right now. Lots of people milling around. Buses and stuff. Some folks don't know where they need to go, so they just go. We almost got ran over by some lady last night who started to go straight through an intersection and about halfway through, decided to turn left... directly at us. Yikes. At least she waved. Debbie gave her the "dofer." You know, where you wave your index finger in the air cuz it will "do fer" the middle finger. hee hee.

Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool.

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom. Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, whereupon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: "Three years I've spent learning to swim with my damn ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"

oops.

Well, I'd better stop goofing off and get back to work. Have a good day.