Friday, August 21, 2009

Public restrooms ain't the library

Public restrooms are, well, public. They are not intended to become someone's library away from home. The restroom in our office building is slowly becoming one tenant's personal library. He has created quite the stack of reading material on the back of the crapper. Magazines. Newspapers. Want-ads. At first, I thought maybe he was creating an emergency pile o' wiping paper in case the hockey tickets sold out. But, no. I realized he had another purpose for the literature. He sits in there two or three times a day. Reading. Not for a few minutes either. Half an hour at least sometimes. I know because we both made a dash for the restroom at the same time one day long ago, but his door is closer than mine and he got to the stall first. OK, not a big deal as I wasn't about to soil my shorts yet. I went back in there several times over the next half hour and he was still there! How do I know it's him in the stall? I recognize his shoes. How do I know he was reading? You can hear him flipping pages. I finally had to go to the women's restroom on that day. This has happened several other times. The pile of reading material is getting taller and taller. Sometimes, it falls off the back of the toilet onto the floor. Now that there is alot of reading material in there, other guys in the building are taking long craps and catching up on their reading. I am a proponent of reading, don't get me wrong. But not whilst I'm prairie dogging. Dammit. Take yer shit and move on for the next guy! This morning, the librarian wasn't in there. It was a guy from another office. He was in there for a long time, too. Good thing there are no women in this building and the women's restroom is clear for an emergency dash to drop the kids off at the pool. I don't get it. Why sit in that room long enough to read an article? If you ain't built up enough pressure to launch before you get in there, wait a while. Don't sit in there hogging the throne whilst you coax something out of the anal orifice. You ain't the only one in the building, Bub.

Just sayin'. ;)

6 comments:

eleanor said...

My way to solve the issue is to remove the reading material. Surely the message will be received

Roy and Debbie said...

Yeah, but then I'd have nothing to complain about.

Tara said...

I kinda had the same idea as Mema. But then again, how do you think I have time to goof on the internet AND get my reading done AND take care of three kids? Some of it occurs while on the pooper. However, my bathroom magazines STAY bathroom magazines. And I don't like the thought of reading another guy's bathroom magazines. Ewww.

Roy and Debbie said...

I could trash everything. But, I'd have nothing for blog fodder and a good rant.

eleanor said...

Roy, I love your come backs. Have a great day and Love ya

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